Finding Patience
As a parent of a child or children with ADHD patience can often be difficult to find. We are pulled in several directions all day long. We change “hats” to go to work, school meetings, grocery shop, get the kids to bed, have a conversation with our partner, etc. It can seem that we are constantly moving, taking care of people and business, but not necessarily taking care of ourselves. This takes a toll on us, and over time, we may feel exhausted, irritable, and overwhelmed. Being a healthy parent requires patience, but we can’t seem to find any. Sound familiar?
Finding patience is something many parents of special needs kids struggle with. Self-care is necessary to gain patience. It is often times something that we overlook because the demands of the world are so much. However, if we do not take care of ourselves, we are eventually of no use to anyone. I have heard this described by several professionals as needing to fill our own tank. The idea is that we all have an invisible tank inside that needs to be nurtured in order for us to be able to continue to give to others. If our tank is empty and we continue to give, it leads to negative emotional and physical health consequences.
So how do we fill this invisible tank? It’s easier than you think. Here is where to start:
Give yourself 15 minutes everyday to do something you enjoy (without interruption). The biggest objection I hear parents say is, “I don’t have 15 minutes EVERYDAY to do this!” I respond the same way every time, “GIVE 15 minutes to yourself.” We can find 15 minutes for others, so we can GIVE it to ourselves too.
How do we find 15 minutes? You can set your alarm 15 minutes earlier in the morning or head to bed 15 minutes earlier in the evening. You can do it on your lunch break or when the kids are down for a nap. You can take time in the car while you wait to pick the kids up from school or sit in the car when you arrive at work. You can use time on the bus or train. You can even take your 15 minutes in the shower!
Now that you know where to find your 15 minutes, here’s some ideas of how to fill your tank.
1. Listen to 3 songs on your play list that make you feel happy
2. Meditate
3. Do a mindfulness exercise
4. Practice breathing exercises
5. Practice muscle relaxation
6. Listen to a podcast
7. Read an article or book that you enjoy
8. Sit quietly with a cup of tea/coffee
9. Take your pet for a walk or playtime
10. Practice yoga stretches
11. Connect with nature
I challenge everyone reading this newsletter to start today and give yourself 15 minutes every day going forward. You will notice an improvement after only a few days!
I am an ADHD parent advocate. You can visit my website to see how I may be able to help www.wellnesstherapycenter.yolasite.com or contact me directly at shannon@adhdparentsupports.com